Backlog

I would like to post my impetus for starting this blog, from another blog of course, my mish mosh in this web.

September 27, 2007 - RAW*
I will be blogging on the subject of my relationship to food and my efforts to go 100% Raw.

I think one's relationship to food affects everything in one's life, particularly one's body, but for purposes of this project...

I am dealing specifically with what I eat, the feelings I get from eating, and the feelings I get after eating.

Most recently, I attended a raw meeting in what seemed to me to be my grandmother's dining room. It was a surreal setting (in a long established "house" for charity programs in midtown), but the people were nice and steadfast in their quest for health. Man, I was convinced. No health problems? Glowing skin? Endless energy? And the presentation by the group leader was very adament and in yer face.

This is the website of a woman who has a great personality and was visiting NYC at this meeting: www.reallyrawfoods.com


So on my journey so far I have not been able to get through a day completely raw. I have tons of excuses, namely that I work nights right now, but excuses are simply that.

I love those salads that someone tosses for you and puts in the plastic bowl. I love 'em. I could eat them forever. They are, however, usually overpriced and usually best enjoyed with bread. What can I say?

And today I encountered a new hurdle. I had a salad with feta and chick peas, both of which are not allowed. There were vegan salads, but they all had grilled tofu in them, and I knew I'd eat the tofu. Stupid trivialities like these lead me down the non-raw path, believe me.

But that's not all, oh no. After the salad, I had a weird taste in my mouth and frankly NEEDED sustenance. I wouldn't call it a craving. I know what a craving is and this was a want for something solid. Could this be the infamous "fill my void" emotional type of eating? Perhaps. So I got a choc chip brownie (yes, the worst possible thing probably) and it was reallyyyy good. I have to say. This was a huge symbol for me as to why I may never truly be raw.

Now a lot of people may say right about now - why don't you eat reasonably healthy and indulge every now then? Aha! To those people I may want to hit. But violence for me is only theoretical, so don't be scared. :)

This is especially why I'm venturing into this territory. Because it's not that simple. I can tell myself that it is and even behave that way for a while. But the bottom line is that it doesn't work for me. Period.

I have migraines and have had them since I can remember. Plus numerous ailments related to skin, circulation, hereditary mental issues, etc.

I am NOT just some girl who wants to be thin and pretty. On the contrary, I love zaftig types just like I love all types of women the way they are. Adhering to a specific body type for social acceptance is fucking ridiculous and is misogyny in its most pure form.

Just to set that one straight right off. ;)

I could go into detail about my issues, but I have a feeling they will peek their little heads out through the course of this journey.

In the meantime, I'm going to try not to think about the eggplant parm hero tonight. try try try try...